At 4zzz, we acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we broadcast. We pay our respects to the elders past, present and emerging of the Turbul and Jagera people. We acknowledge that their sovereignty over this land was never ceded and we stand.

In solidarity with them.

You're listening to transm mission on 4zzz. Amplifying the trans and gender non conforming voices of Brisbane and beyond.

This is Transmission. Amplifying the voices of the trans, gender diverse, non binary community here in Magan, Gin and beyond. I'm your host, Sev. My pronouns are he, him and they them. And I am delighted to be joined in studio by two excellent human beings today. Please say hello.

Hi, I'm Selma and my pronouns are she, her.

Morning, I'm Tate and my pronouns are he or they lit.

Oh my God, I'm so excited, the three of us.

I am so happy to be back in the studio and so happy to be here with the two of you. Shout out to everybody out there in Magingen and beyond today. Listening in this Tuesday morning. My favourite thing about music discovery and getting to connect like personally and through the radio with our local music music community is like always being so astounded and so proud of the quality of music that comes out of both Brisbane and just Australia.

And the variety too. Just that the sheer number of different genres of gender diverse artists, it's, it's flipping beautiful.

Yes. And absolutely a reminder to all our listeners that on transmission we only play music by bands and artists that feature trans, gender, diverse, non binary members. I think it's such an excellent opportunity to give a platform to artists and to showcase to the greater listening world just like how much artistic excellence comes out of the trans community. I mean, we all know that some of the most moving art, most moving music literature, people with really profound life experiences, people who have seen things and been through things, you know, our, our stories, our perspectives, they have so much value and weight. So it's not just about the excellence of the music being produced by trans artists. It's also like the importance of those stories, those voices. I always just feel that extra ounce of profundity, you know, when it's a trans artist talking to me, particularly in songs that speak so clearly to the experience of not just being an individual trans person, but a trans person and a trans community working through a world that is often quite hostile and biassed.

And it's pretty crazy to consider that a lot of these artists are sort of in a 1% sort of bracket of like cutting through, getting Their music, even platformed or out there, is so difficult. So it's pretty amazing when we come on four Triple Z and we get to do Transmissions and if you are listening, you get like a smorgasbord of curated trans music that is actually really difficult to find and it's sometimes really hidden away, tucked away around the dark corners because it's not always safe to be singing about these things. And it is punk rock as hell to be doing this. So I just want to say, once again, I love doing this. Every morning on Transmission. I love you. I love you, trans babies.

You are adorable.

You better stop.

Oh, I won't.

No, because we're gonna have some trans joy up in here. We do.

And look, if you are looking to increase your knowledge of trans artists and trans music, this is a reminder that because we play only trans artists on Transmission every week, you can go to the 4 Triple Z website and you can listen back on demand to previous episodes of Transmission. So if you love this episode and you want to get your fill of more excellent trans music, go back and listen to last week's on the Week before and the week before. Get a vibe for all of the excellent music we play. And with that in mind, I can't wait to get in to chatting to you angels, because just sharing the studio with you brings me such trans joy.

Stop it.

Amplifying the voices of the trans and gender non conforming community of Meanjin, Brisbane and beyond Transmission on Fortune ZZZ brings you the latest in trans community news, music and events. Every Tuesday from 9am till 10am Join our team of hosts for an hour of celebrating the unique perspectives of the trans community. Transmission. Tuesday mornings from 9am till 10am 4 Triple Z.

You're listening to Transmission on 4 Triple Z. My name's Sev. My pronouns are he, they, I'm, Selma.

And my pronouns are she, her and I'm Tate.

My pronouns are he or they.

Here on Transmission, we amplify the voices of the transgender diverse non binary community and only play songs by artists and bands featuring trans members. It is always a delight to be in studio with some of my very favourite people here with Selma and Tate today.

We like you. Yeah, heaps as actually. Yeah.

One of the things I wanted to chat about today, it's obviously as a trans person here in Queensland in Australia and in the general state of the world right now, there is a lot of stress, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of struggle out there and I, I do encourage people to stay on top of the trans news. Follow Trans content creators, trans journalists. But sometimes we need to give ourselves the opportunity to step away from that global struggle and political struggle and focus on ourselves like the individual struggle to find our peace, our joy and access the care that we require when we require it. I speak up a lot. I've just started doing stand up comedy. Yeah, yeah. And I've wrote a bunch of it around the experiences, both tragic and comedic, that come up as a trans person. And the experience of being trans, it is, you know, there's a lot to it. And as artists, you know, having places to express, it's really important. But it's also just, I love having that platform and then this one to talk about just my own personal journey of how life changing and essential gender affirming care has been for me. I spent absolutely years speaking very openly and advocating for better support and services and talking about mental health. I'm a lifelong, you know, mental health advocate and struggler of mental illness issues. So to be at the stage in my life where I genuinely am the happiest and most mentally content, balanced, stable, healthy that I've ever been in my life. As I hit two years on testosterone therapy, it's no surprise to me anymore. I. When I think about how my family and loved ones when I was younger and having, you know, a lot of depression, a lot of stress, I got a lot of questions like, what's wrong with you? What's happened? What's wrong with you? Is it just a chemical thing? Is it just. And it took me years to know what it was, why I felt so sad and wrong and out of place. It took me literally decades. But within two years of starting the hormone therapy that I wasn't even sure was going to be right for me at the time, I just felt at my wits end and out of options and I wish I'd trusted myself more to start with. But two years down the line, I can genuinely say for me, for me, it is the very best thing I've ever done for myself. And I've just started to present and show in a way that people I've barely spoken to, I haven't spoken to in months or years is they see me or they see a photo of me now and I'm. My inbox is filling up with those oh my God, look at you. Yeah, Messages, you know, it's glowing out of you. You've never looked better, you've never looked happier. And I sit here looking at two other gorgeous trans faces and I see two other people looking the most happy. I've ever seen them.

Look, you just quit it. Quit it right now.

Selma, you spoke to this earlier. You're feeling great right now.

I'm feeling really nice today. I feel like I'm very grateful for being able to access gender affirming care and just in particular hormones. Like, I didn't think it was going to do anything for me, to be honest. I was like. Because I, like, I woke up one morning after some nonsense and I was like, I need to figure out what this feeling is. And then I screamed I just want to be a f ing woman to my housemates. And I was like, oh, right, okay, we'll unpack that.

I wonder what that's about.

We'll probably unpack that soon. And then, like, I had a pretty nightmarish experience. Like, I got sent to an occupation therapist before I got sent to a gender therapist, which was actually sort of funny in a roundabout way because I'd been working as a drag performer and SW and just in. In drag a lot. So I think they were like, oh, so you don't know if you want to be a woman because you're playing as a woman all the time. And then when I heard those words, I was like, no, no, no, no. There's a difference between play and being. And I knew that in myself. And I think the biggest thing for me is that even now, I think it's three, three and a bit years that I've been on hormones and I am really happy with where I'm at in that part of my transition. But I still, you know, of course I want more. I was just saying that I want, you know, gun akimbo boobies. I just really. I think that it's. It's been nice to reflect on how long it's taken. It's been nice to reflect on where I've been and where I am now. Because I think it's the simple things. It's like a man running into you at Coco's and going, oh, sorry, darl. And you're like, oh, what? And it's not even like, I never, never really want to pass. I like wearing my transness on my sleeves. Those who are queer and visibly trans. I think it's important for people to be able to identify people like them, if that makes sense.

That's why I've started growing out the big dirty moustache.

Yeah.

Just in case people start thinking I am a CIS het man. I can't be having that like that. You have to radiate a saviour, aggressive aura of homosexuality. At the very least, and I hope they can read the transness across the room.

But I really feel it. It's like I feel this happiness that is. It's slowly coming to me, and even if it's in the. In the minutia of my day. You know what I mean? Like, it is really scary out there, what you were saying earlier. It's like I've sort of had to take a step back and just shelter myself because I'm currently looking after a kid, and it's sort of like one of the most stressful things I have done in a long time. Being perceived as an outwardly trans person walking around with a young child has actually had its surprise, surprise moments. But also, it's proven to me that I. I don't walk my life like that. I. I protect myself and I protect this kid. Like, I. I was having a real day of it recently, and I want to share this with everyone. This kid is 9, and I was having a day. I just read an article and I got really emotional, and I was really down in the dumps. This beautiful kid looks at me and goes, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm just having a really, really bad day. And she was like, is it trans stuff? And I went. I went, yeah. And she goes, it's really rough for you guys at the moment.

Oh, my goodness.

And I just held her up by the scruff of her shirt and you guys. No, I'm kidding. No, but she. She just was the, like, she goes, you can cry if you want to cry, like you're allowed to, and gave me a little hug, and I was like, absolutely beside myself. And kids aren't. Kids are taught ignorance, and kids are taught empathy. And I think that the more knowledge that is out there for youth to access is really, really important because, I don't know, just even having that interaction with kid makes me feel like I want to bloody live. You know, I want to keep on going. I want to fight to see when this kid is old enough to be fighting for me, when I don't have any words. So I don't know, I'm feeling that sort of joy about it all. It's like, I don't. I do not believe that we are in the middle of outright fascism, but I don't believe that it's gonna last.

I. I genuinely hope the kids are okay because. And I believe it. And they will be. The. The rallies recently, having the opportunity to stand with some local young people, local trans young people affected by the pause in Gender affirming care. Hearing children, preteens and young people speaking so defiantly, so beautifully, so strongly. I wish they didn't have to, but I so admire that young people are speaking up, that they have platforms where they can and supporters who are protecting them safely in the. In a slightly different but hilarious quick anecdote before we come back because I. When we come back, I really want to chat to Tate about your current experience with gender affirming care, but just an experience I had the other day. I. My house lost plumbing during the cyclone and flooding. We kept power luckily. We were very lucky in that regard. But it turns out at least once a day it's really quite important that a house has working plumbing. So I've been taking. Luckily there wasn't too much flooding in my local area. I was able to take a little jaunt round to my local community centre, which is really cool.

Oh, it's so.

Love it. Shout out to the Maruka Community Centre we love. I was popping around there to use their coffee shop and facilities, but because a lot of the local schools were shut at the time, I went popped over there one day and it was absolutely packed with kids and families and kids and obviously like some parents and carers who were looking after multiple families, children because the schools weren't open, but people had to go to work. So this place is absolutely rammed with kids. I walk in just to. Just to use the bathroom in a bit of a rush and a bit of a panic and I march confidently towards the men's bathroom, but realise that I've just. I've like. I'm basically in my pyjamas. I'm in comfy tartan pants and a T shirt. I've not put a binder on. I've not done my much effort to present myself in a way that doesn't draw attention. I know this place, I love it. It's generally quite safe. As I'm strolling very confidently into the men's bathroom, there is a young kid just gawking at me, like staring daggers at me as I walk into the bathroom. And, you know, like, in my head I start thinking like, oh, well, it's not my place to talk to that kid. They're not with me, they're not asking questions of me. I just hope they're not confused. I want to make sure they know everything's okay. If they have any questions. I don't know really how to. How to deal with this. And as I'm kind of having that amorphous cloud of Thought this kid, I go, I walk, open the door and I walk in. And muffled as the door closes behind me, I hear this kid at the top of its lungs go, dad, there's.

A vampire in the toilet.

Oh, no, not the vampires in the toilets again. Drinking our children's blood.

Okay, so just a reminder, the kids don't care about transness.

And they don't.

They're just like vampires.

But what I would like to know is if you're a vampire, how are you out in the daylight?

Yeah, I was wearing naked, a very high neck and to the floor, trench coat.

So holding a black umbrella with a black ha on your shoulder. Yeah, sure. No wonder. That kid's gonna be traumatised for life.

Peter Sterling, the only man in the world who's given birth to a child.

Someone might say you're a bit of a queer.

Then they'd be Brian. We have been talking just about our own journeys with accessing gender affirming care. And in this climate and environment where there's a lot of uncertainty about how even accessing care will look in the future, I feel like it's really important to share our stories, help people understand why accessing this care is so important, why we need to fight so hard for the rights of trans folk, trans young people in particular, to be able to start these conversations with their medical professionals, get referred to the right specialists, and access the gender affirming care that they need. And there is no age at which this isn't essential care. Young people need to be able to talk to doctors when they are trans. But also old people coming out of the closet late, discovering themselves late. Our rights are just as much at threat. Like, they don't stop with young people. So for a lot of us, I know there's a lot of uncertainty, and I am, I really want to talk to Tate, who's in studio with us today, because Tate and I have had a lot of conversations over my journey through testosterone. And you've recently, super recently decided that you, you would like to start hormone replacement therapy yourself.

Yeah, no, I dithered for, for literal years. So I think 2017 is when I started to think, hmm, hey, hey, you're not a girl. Hey. And then I just let that marinate for a period of however many years it's been. And then I, I looked around at things that were happening lately, and I remember there being a period of like, maybe five years ago when things started looking like they were on a massive uptick in terms of, like, social awareness and how people react to trans people.

Just representation in media.

Yeah, it was. Things were looking really good, not so much lately. And that made me start to do a bit of a worry. And I thought, okay, if things are basically as good and as safe as they're going to get, like, because I'm super apprehensive about, like, while I am out in my social group, like, every. Every one of my friends and basically all of my family knows that I'm trans. People that I don't talk to on a daily basis don't super know because I just sort of go, it's too hard to risk that they're going to be a dick. And then I'm gonna. Sorry, swearing. And then I'm gonna have to research a new doctor, dentist, hairdresser, etc. But then I went, you know what? What's the worst thing that can happen? I don't really have any ties to this bulk billing GP that I go to out of convenience. And I'm not super worried about him saying anything because if he does, I can just get up and leave. So I went, you know, sort it. I'm gonna book the appointment, I'm gonna do it. I booked a long one and I went in there and I was just shocked by how easy it was. Oh, my gosh.

So I feel like this is really important to highlight because all of that apprehension you held, it's not that it came from nowhere. Like, you've developed that sense of fear and trepidation around how other people react through experience. Like, we've all experienced it. But when there is that medical knowledge, when there is that social knowledge, it's always the mundanity of those situations that strikes me. You said the same thing about going to a barber recently. Like, you had the apprehension about being in a men's space to get your hair done.

Like I'm an intruder or something. Or like, I don't know the protocols.

Yes.

The unspoken protocols of how it's meant to work in there. Which I didn't. Barbers are fascinating, but that's a. That's a whole other.

But the experience was both affirming and also you said, like, as an autistic person, the fact that barbers, like the one you went to, like, nobody speaks, nobody. There is no unnecessary social interaction.

The back of the head, if you're lucky, everybody just.

They get up, they get in the chair, they. They. He goes, what you want? And I'm like, oh, my God, a haircut, please. And he's like, okay, can I touch the sides? I'm like, yep, sure, go off. And he did his thing and it was just so regular. And that was what the doctor. That was what the doctor was like, just so regular. I literally said, hi, I want to get a referral to this endocrinologist. And he's like, why? And I'm like, gender purposes. And he goes, okay. And I'm like, so how do we do this? He goes, I fill out this form here. And I go, huh, Amazing. And the doctor goes, do you want me to fill out the form? I'm like, yeah, yes, please. And then he did, and.

And now you have your referral blown.

Away by how easy it was. It was so not scary. Incredible.

Thank you for talking about it because I really feel like for so many people, anxiety is such a contributing factor and there's a reason why we have that anxiety and that social fear. And I definitely know that lack of self trust in my own sort of decision making also kept me from talking to a doctor for a long time. I'm like, oh, I don't know, I have some pretty wild ideas though, so maybe I should just sit with this one for like seven years and see if I still feel that way. I did, yeah. And then I was, you know, really worried about what the reactions would be. Not, I mean, not from my personal life, because I knew I had great people in my personal life and I knew I could afford to lose the not great ones. But when it comes to actually talking to the systems, the people with authority, we, you know, I feel like there is a sense right now that while care is more available, striking why the iron is hot and turned on. Like, if trans people are in a position to start the process of getting the care they can, if there it is available to them. Particularly for anyone over the age of 18 or 21 here in Queensland at the moment, this is your sign that it's never too early to ask yourself the question.

It's never too late.

It's never too late to ask yourself the question. And also a thing that I really wish somebody had told me more fervently earlier on is that you can actually stop taking hormones if you change your mind or you're wrong or you don't like it and like, there's no shame to that or detransitioning even if you, you know, were wrong, quote, unquote. I wish somebody had just told me, like, it, it's okay to actually just try it, see how it makes you feel. It's not the be all and end all permanent decision that's gonna dictate everything that happens in your life. Permanent medicalization and all of the messages they like to send. Truth is like, you can take it and see how you feel because I. Testosterone and the very first change I noticed was in my mental health and whether that was chemical or psychosomatic, I don't even know. I assume a bit of both. I assume a bit of both. But the first thing that changed was my happiness. And once I realised that, I was like, oh, oh, I should have done.

This years ago and that's how I feel now. I. I thought I'd be super comfortable waiting to be like, to be on the wait list to go to the gender clinic. And now I'm like, hurry up, hurry up. Gender, please.

May I, may I have some of genders, please?

It's my turn on the gender.

So this is your reminder. Gender affirming care is essential. It saves lives.

God damn this.

And we need to vote with that in mind.

And it's not as scary accessing it as I thought it was going to be. And I left feeling like on absolute cloud nine. I had a spring in my step for the rest of the flipping day. So good.

Oh, you love this.

Meet with Joy. Here's for TransJoy.

Darlings, I've got some news just before we wrap up really quickly, if you want to support this actual cause, we have Project 491 at Vinnie's Dives on the 9th of May, featuring some amazing punk acts. We've got Flange Panties, Permanent Revolution, Queerbait. Lucas is doing some comedy and I will be emceeing the night. All of the proceeds go to 491trans youth and Oz path and they will be helping us to regain access for the 491 kids that haven't been able to access gender affirming care this year due to LNP's ban on puberty blockers. So if that's something you're interested in, come along, come and say hello, come and listen to some punk music and let's show our current government where they can stick it.

That gig looks absolutely amazing. Please. Yeah, check out 491. I hope to see a bunch of you there. As many of the transmission team that can get down as possible are going to be there and, yeah, screaming and as much money as we can. So I'll share that to the Transmission Socials over the next day or two as well. So please do go follow us along there if you would like to keep up with more of what we do. That's at Trans. Radio. Trans. With a Z. Because you know where we are. It's for Triple Z. Thank you. Have a great, excellent rest of your day. Big love.

We love you. Bye.

Thank you so much for listening to transmission. See you next Tuesday, 9 to 10am on 4 Triple Z.